A Better Human: The Stoic Heart, Mind, and Soul by George J. Bradley

Author:George J. Bradley [Bradley, George J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bradley Publishing Inc.
Published: 2017-06-11T07:00:00+00:00

Seneca’s positive mentor comes through loud and clear here. He urges us to pick out someone to pattern ourselves on. In doing so we hope to absorb and emulate the good traits we see.

In the case of the bad example, where you can learn what not to do, you can also pick up a couple of additional Stoic benefits (while honing your skills of perseverance!)

The first of these additional benefits is to use the experience to teach yourself not to take things too personally. You build an emotional or mental wall and separate work from the higher goals in your life. Or you find ways to overcome the obstacle the boss presents in order to create success in its place. Both of those exercises will yield insight and tools that come in useful later in your career and life.

The second benefit, especially in the case where the ‘bad boss’ is a micro-manager or a perfectionist or really hot-tempered – you learn quickly the value of putting your best efforts into a project. You double- and triple-check your work. You micro-manage yourself to the point where the boss can find no flaws. Driving yourself to that level, while it might not be ideal in terms of agility, creativity, or work-life balance, teaches a lesson that can be useful later: an appreciation of your own capacity for excellence.[78]

A third point to consider with regard to mentors in the office environment, bad or good, is that you must be very careful in trusting their motives. As David D’Alessandro says in Executive Warfare: “Unless your boss is very, very strong, he is likely to have moments of paranoia as you gain power and he suddenly feels your hot breath at the back of his neck . . . So beware the mentor.”[79] This might be an over-exaggeration. Beneficent bosses aren’t unknown in the workplace. And they often are motivated not only by sheer goodwill, but also by ideas of legacy, and of the more immediate, pressing need to build their teams through actualizing and encouraging their subordinates. Still, it is a point to consider: will you, in lighting your star and setting the world (or at least the lunch-room) ablaze, present a direct threat to your erstwhile mentor? If so, you should examine your approach. That mentor relationship might be more important in the long run than temporary advancement. In fact, it might be important enough (and your rise in the workplace rapid and unavoidable enough, if the mentoring and your other Stoic life-skills are all coming together to help you turn obstacles into successes) that the best course turns out to be parlaying your newfound skills into a job elsewhere: keep the mentor, keep the relationships positive with that particular employer, and go forth to do great things at a safer distance!

This suggests another important topic for consideration in your approach to mentorship: the phases you’ll go through in your process of mastery.

First, when you’re young, the imperative is to explore. A mentor should facilitate this exploration.

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